I won’t get into the details of how it feels to have cramps on top of my scraped-out uterus but suffice it to say that today has been a tough day. Had a good cry this afternoon, a loud, wailing, weeping fit, on my knees in the middle of the rug. It came out of nowhere. I guess I’m pretty upset about the hysterectomy, and the pain doesn’t help. Wish my fucking phone would stop autocorrecting that to « hysterical ». Afterwards I dried my eyes and made brownies. I had to sub in olive oil and Greek yogurt for half the butter but they’re not bad.
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Made the executive decision to switch from hydrocodone to NSAIDS because the opiates aren’t even denting the pain and it’s a long weekend so I’m not going to reach my surgeon.
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Still hoping to go hang with my sister sometime this weekend but it’s not looking good. I need to see them, but yesterday in the car back to R’s, it felt like my diaphragm was spasming and I couldn’t breathe and I almost had a panic attack.
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On Wednesday i sent a text to my brother and his wife letting them know my surgery went ok. It’s now Friday and neither of them has responded, and I think that’s so lame. I don’t have kids so I don’t know what it is to be so busy but I feel like it can’t be that hard to write, « cool, thanks for letting us know, feel better soon ». I wish we were closer.
2:55 p.m. - 2023-05-19
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