i drank too much and made some extremely poor decisions. What's new.

I was out reading my book in the park and met up with an acquaintance-friend and the night really took a turn. It was a good reminder that i have to look out for myself, that i'm in a vulnerable place and there are people who will take advantage of it. Maybe he didn't see it that way. I'm not sure what he was thinking and I don't particularly care. I would like to not see him again.

* * *

I keep remembering this sliver of time in Rishikesh in 2004 when i was much more alone than i am these days. I spent my afternoons wrapped up in a blanket in the bright mountain sunlight on the landing outside my cheap guesthouse. I smoked a little hashish, i read, i wrote down the thoughts that came into my mind. In the evenings I sat on the banks of the Ganges and watched the marigolds and candles drifting down the river.

9:22 a.m. - 2020-07-06