i just looked up whether "tortuous" and "torturous" are different words. They are. I didn't know that.

*

one of my closest friends (and former roommate of 6 years) is visiting, and having her here makes me realize how much I dislike my living situation. I poured it all out to E for a minute, and have now resolved not to talk to her about it anymore because no one needs to deal with that. But yeah, I have to get this dude out of my house. I think he is linked to a decrease in joy. Joy. need more joy.

Maybe it's not him and it's just having someone here from that time in my life - mid/late twenties, I feel lighter and like going out into the world.

I am singing as I bike to work. Songs just come into my head and out of my mouth. I showered and dressed nicely. I'm writing here. What does it all mean? I think it means I miss having a house that's a home and I can't bear this rooming house situation anymore. That said, i *will* bear it, because having my own place is way beyond my means. Anyway, I don't want my own place, I want to live with E and have it be 2007 again please. World at my fingertips, and no dissertation to write.

*

Speaking of no dissertation, I went to with a friend to get a mimosa on sunday morning, and when we ordered the bartender said, 'it's 6$ for one, or 23$ for the bottle' and obviously we went with the bottle because economies of scale, but then it turned into a long slow beery wander through the newly opened river park, to a local bar where we ran into my friend and his aunt and uncle and i line danced with his aunt because there was a street party, then another bar, then another bar, because new orleans and then it was 9pm and i was collapsing into bed. Nice day, though. As I write, E is still sleeping. At 6pm. Because she rolled in at 10am. People still do that here, obviously, but i can't remember the last time that I allowed myself to get pulled along into one of those situations. I miss it. But I'm not about to wake up at 7pm with a hangover. No, I miss it. But I'm sure my liver does not.

5:52 p.m. - 2014-03-12