i was getting slightly agoraphobic.

when you have roommates you have to be social All The Time, and i like it, but when i come home i kind of crash and don't leave the house for days on end.

I've just been reading... Rohinton Mistry's Family Matters, trashy romance novels, and i re-read all the Narnia chronicles. Except bloody Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe which has vanished from the bookcase. Argh! That book is the whole point of the series. *sigh*

Last night i talked on the phone and felt able to really talk for the first time. And today i forced myself to go out with real (i.e. not related to me) people for the first time in exactly one week.

I've been so sad about leaving Nova Scotia, since I had my life exactly the way I like it. This layout, done by one of my favorite people ever, makes me smile whenever i look at my page. It's a beautiful beach with some great memories.

That made me smile. And then today was spent catching up with great friends in THREE separate social outings that kept me out of the house from 1pm until 2am. I was told that I was missed this Fall, and I remembered that I am loved here, too. And it was good. good to hear it. Sometimes, you really need to be told things that may seem obvious.

like: i miss you and i'm sorry we haven't talked in so long. And i still want to be friends if you do.

*

eep! tomorrow! the best date of the year! dinner with my little sis. can. not. wait. She'll be studying in the quiet room and i'm going to shriek and embarrass her. sucker.

*

today at a traffic light, i saw a woman standing in the cold holding a sign that said "out of work - please help me. merry christmas"

and the guy ahead of me rolled down his window and handed her a pile of kleenex for cold-induced snot and a fifty dollar bill.

just a regular guy. fifty dollars. i got teary, because i'm a loser that way. but it's nice when people help each other and it really doesn't happen that often.

1:48 a.m. - 2002-12-19