It's done, i made it through. Some complications, but I still have a uterus and also I am 9 (!!!) fibroids lighter... one was the size of a pomelo and one the size of an apple. Hopefully i never have to talk about fibroids here again. Now I can start to build up some strength again. I walked almost three km on Thursday but then spent most of Friday in pain so that was clearly too much.

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I've been off work for three weeks, the longest period without emails and deliverables in many many years. The first week is blurry with the hospital stay and the pain, but now, feeling like slowly coming back to whatever is normal and I honestly do not remember what that is.

Surely it can't just be this incredibly long list of chores? The wedding thank you cards will be written, the bathroom was cleaned, i recycled a box of papers but there are more. Stupid american health care system - i keep getting bills for $5.60 for a co-pay or whatever [insert obligatory gratitude for my excellent insurance but seriously, it DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY]. One day soon I will figure out how to write a will, yes I know I'm behind on taxes, okay yes also I need to do that accounting thing for the condo board. etc etc etc. Ugh, adulting. Fine.

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Thought I was going to lose my mind this afternoon after nearly 2 days inside, co-existing with R in this small space with varying success. And then just stepping outside into the cool fog I felt my heart expand. In the community garden i took deep breaths and felt alive.

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Things I have cooked with squash this month: coconut green curry soup, lentil curry, a gratin, spaghetti squash with tomato sauce, and some roasted squash salad thing. Every year in September I am thrilled to get my first butternut squash and by December I never ever want to see another one.

Listening to: Sinead O'Connor - I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got.

10:06 a.m. - 2023-11-30