My sister is now with us, with my niece, and we all took a five hour ferry (I puked) to the remote Isles de la Madeleine, off the coast of PEI. The four of us had the nicest dinner. We were all happy after a day out driving around these beautiful windswept islands. Watched a perfect sunset on a beach, and came back to the hotel to eat. My dad clearly jonesing for a drink so that he was in the bar within minutes after getting back, but he limited it, i think, and we had a nice meal. Near the end of the meal, my dad was so funny. I don't know why exactly it was so funny but we'd convinced him to order dessert even though he was stuffed and had eaten too much but he had ordered the special that included dessert, and we wanted his dessert even though he didn't. So he ordered what we wanted and it came, and then he made a production of giving my mom the ice cream that comes on the side and tucking into the pie he'd ordered for us. He was just so pleased with himself and his joke, and we all started laughing and laughing - i think i was crying, i was laughing so hard, the happy laugh that comes from a long and nice day out enjoying ourselves. But he couldn't catch his breath from the laugh and we watched in horror as his eyes closed and his lips turned blue. I thought - heart attack, or stroke - and told my sister to find a way to call 911. In the time it took me to get around the table to him, he'd passed out, slumping towards the table and his right hand started spasming. As I ran around the table i thought, 'of course we're on this remote island. this is it. this is it. my dad. oh, my dad"

But i lifted his head, and opened his airway, going for his pulse, and he opened his eyes and totally normally asked us what was going on. I don't know. it was some transient thing? We did the tests they recommend to check for stroke.. checked his breathing. All seemed normal and he could talk and walk as usual. So he's gone to bed and I'm thinking about how fast things can change, a thing i try to not remember.

1:09 a.m. - 2018-08-31