i'll still be reading, but narcissa is officially closed and i won't be back.

this part of my life is over and keeping this diary open has just become another way for me to hold on to the past. It is so hard to let go of this journal because of all it represents and has represented. i wish you could see me because i'm teary, which is ridiculous, but you know i've always been a suck.

this has encapsulated such a formative period of my life and when i read back i'm so grateful to have this record. I've never been much of a storyteller, but this was the one place where it was somehow easy to see the world with a start and a finish and a punchline.

i may not be ready but i know it's time for this to be finished. At the beginning of this i wasn't an adult and, oh my, i am one now and i'm off to figure out what that means and somehow that has to involve writing only for myself and being satisfied with that. Not needing outside recognition to know that it is okay.

I have such a fear of disappearing into the void but i'm sure it won't be so bad out there.

onward.

Here's to the now.

i will miss you.

XO from new orleans

9:12 p.m. - 2006-11-12