Oh my.

Remember that time when I used to write in this journal? Write at all? Everything has been so rushed that I haven�t even had a moment to think, let alone compose an entry.

There was a gorgeous roadtrip out East. PEI, Cape Breton, Halifax. I got to sit on the beach (on the left) and listen to the waves. Then there was a wedding. A family wedding. I knew what was coming, and I THOUGHT I was prepared, but ohmygod, when you�re already stressed about your lack of plans, the following conversation does not help:

well meaning relative: so! You�re finished! What did you do?
narcissa [inward sigh]: Thanks! I got a Bachelor of Science.
WMR: Congratulations! So� it's time for reality. What are you going to do now??Where will you live???? Do you have a job??What are your plans for the rest of your life? (???????)

Lather.rinse.repeat. Times a million. Billion, even.

The thing is.. I do not know. I do not even have a hint of an answer to any of that. I know i don't want to work.

I realize that no one wants to work. But I really really don�t. And� I won�t. So there. Not until something interesting smacks me in the head, or I get bored, or I'm so out of money that I am forced to sell my soul. Whatever comes first. So. I�m going to wander, I think. For a while, until I get my bearings. Until I snap out of this floaty feeling that I just can't shake.

This weekend I�m heading west. I�m going out to Saskatoon to live in the prairies and learn French.

After that, who knows? Calgary. Vancouver. Victoria. I�m not sure, but at least it will be interesting.

1:09 a.m. - 2003-05-13