11:43 a.m.
last night i went to the broken social scene show, which was amazing except so loud that by the end i longed to be curled in fetal position on the floor with my hands over my ears.

i came home and lay on my bed in my quiet apartment and just basked in the silence.

*

i had planned to be a hermit this week but it'snot (snot! ha!) it's not working out. After i caved and took the depo, i felt everything settle down to an even keel. brain chemistry, stomach, uterus.. all back to whatever passes for normal in my life.

so now i feel better, and i'm dependent on this stupid shot. i guess that's fine for the moment.

i'm feeling hopeful again. And... i don't know. ready to face the fact that my life is always going to be shifting and fluid and i just can't control it. The best way to be happy is to appreciate what's happening at any given moment.

If I can relearn that, I'll be golden.

2006-01-21

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