hey did i mention that i'm happier when i'm not being a control freak?

i'm trying really really hard. I don't know why, but i just *need* to have a handle on everything happening around me, and i get all wonky when i don't.

but i'm working on it, and at least now when i feel myself getting upset about something i can ask myself, "am i just mad because i'm not in control of this situation" and usually the answer is 'yes'. i mean.. it's always nicer when things go your way, but it isn't the end of the world when they don't.

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i went out to a club last night, and *gag* they had rose petals all over the place. Those are the stunts that make me avoid clubs. Also the bad music and the lamo octopus-hand guys on the dance floor.

I paid the 15$ cover and it made me so mad that i decided i wasn't going to pay for a drink all night. And I didn't.

Is that bad? Shouldn't we be buying our own drinks? And yet... if someone who makes three times what i do offers me a drink... why shouldn't i take it?
I struggle with this.

Look at me and my struggles.

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I'm going out for dinner with the boy i was breaking up with waaaaay back when i started this journal in 2000. Haven't seen him since so it should be interesting.

If you go out with someone you've made out with in the past, is it a date? I don't think so, but i've been posing the question and i'm outvoted.

5:56 p.m. - 2006-02-12