okay. so i need some help. I'm MC-ing a big wedding in two weeks! And... argh! anyone know any jokes? Have some suggestions? Best/worst things that i could do?

help?!?

*

i know honesty is generally the best policy when you're upset but i find i'm just pretending i'm not because i don't want to deal with it.

bah.

i always think i'm sooooooooo straightforward and you know what? i am so not.

i could just sit down and explain how i'm feeling but i'm kind of afraid of the outcomes.

I hate emotional scenes, so i'm just going to sit on this for a while. Cause of course, that will make it all go away.

I'm such an idiot.

****

okay i was thinking about this more... it's like this: I feel like people don't really miss spending time with me... because of course they've all gotten used to it, and here i am stuck in a 2-year-old time warp. So i'm needy. But if i bring it up, i feel like i'm an obligation... like people will think they HAVE to call me. They will write it in their day planners because they're nice that way.

You should want to spend time with me because you miss me. Not because i reminded you that i need you to call me.

Plus, i admit that I feel nervous to just give anyone that power: i need you.

And I worry they won't feel the same way about me if I become an obligation. am i crazy? i'm crazy. Holy fuck, India, what did you do to me? *** Okay, i'm going to send a few emails. Or talk it out. bah.

9:36 p.m. - 2005-02-24