Home, and life is suddenly � gloriously - mundane.

Delight in little comforts.

I no longer have to block out half the things I see. I feel the analytical chunk of my brain relaxing after months of over-use as I struggled to make sense of it all.

i'm jet-lagged and sick and afraid of the cold, so i stay home. I exclaim loudly over the goodness of food. I�m up by 4am, so I watch the morning light paint the snow blue, then pink, then dazzling white. I read (the new Ann-Marie MacDonald is good). One foot absently rests on the snoring rug that is my puppy sprawled on the floor. I eat lunch with my dad.

I talk on the phone. A lot. Within-Canada long distance is so much cheaper that it feels like it's free (and let's be honest. I'm living with my parents. It IS free).

I felt I became superfluous when I left... and maybe I was. Am. But now there are people calling because they heard I was home and they want to see how I am. Strangely, it's not always the people who I expected to call.

It may be stupid, but it makes me happy to know that there really are people who noticed that I was gone for eight months.

It's nice to connect. I feel i could sit and talk forever, just glorying in being able to identify with people again.

I'm applying to grad school. Seems like a good thing to do. A thing to do. I don't know.

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Also: It turns out that Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is not the pinnacle of goodness my mind had built it up to be. It's actually kind of gross, and I'm sorry that I spent all of October craving it.

It's okay... tonight I�m going out for Mexican. In November I craved burritos (soft floury tortillas, crispy lettuce, creamy sour cream, juicy tomatoes, tangy salsa), and I'm sure that they will not disappoint.

*

I�m off to try driving. Here�s hoping I remember we drive on the left. Or is it the right?

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My parents are cute. I just tried to connect to the internet (cause we�re on dial-up and there�s NOTHING wrong with that) to post this and I couldn�t cause the phone was beeping� and I went through the messages and heard my voice. From the Himalayas. In September.

7:29 a.m. - 2004-01-18