10:52 a.m.
taking the first of some wobbly tricky steps toward where i want to be.

therapy. i started going to therapy.

it feels like i ran sandpaper all over my brain, but in a good way.
raw.

and expensive.

i start sentences to explain how it went, but then my mouth gets taken over by a James song and it doesn't go where i planned.

as in:
my therapist says....

[not to see you no more/she says you're like a disease/without any cure/she says i'm so obsessed that i'm becoming a bore...]

but i really meant to say:

soon i won't feel on the edge of tears all the time.

won't that be nice?

i don't have everything i thought i did, or everything i feel i should have... but i have a lot.

and.

i know i need to do this so that I don't go meet new people and then run into myself again.

2006-04-13

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