11:29 p.m.
oh it's hot in this apartment and i try to remember the refreshing cool shock of diving naked into a lake and then the soothing coolness of floating there in the sunset while the Constantines drift across the water.

right now all i've got is the itchiness of guelph lake in my hair.

every time it gets unbearably hot I go check the weather in New Orleans and sure enough it's always rainier and hotter.

I can't believe i'll be living there at this time next month. I'm taking it easy these last few weeks. ice cream and walks and small adventures with friends to file away for future homesickness.

i'm ready to go. Work is tear-inducingly intolerable and I wonder that I stayed this long. I thought about quitting in June to fulfill a longtime dream of scooping ice cream for the summer and I'm kind of regretting the decision to stay, although I know that my bank account thanks me.

right now i have visions of learning and biking and a garden and a compost and music and newness dancing in my head. more realistically, i know that it should be visions of papers and papers and papers and hot and rain, but i'm okay with that.

international development and public health. this is a dream of mine that started a long long long time ago and when i think about starting this degree i can't believe that i've made it.
I just need to get through the next 8 business days without losing it.

i'd like to leave this job with grace and professionalism and i'm going to do it. Grace. These days I strive for grace in everything I do. I've got a long way to go, but the thought of it sounds peaceful.

2006-07-31

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