running late, I texted Mary: "would it be better to be late to my own wedding or give R his car back with the gas light on? Rhetorically"

in the end, i rolled in at 11am at the dot and handed R his car keys and sheepishly announced that he needed to get gas next time he used the car : / He knows what he’s getting with me.

R's mom was making conversation with the officiant. My parents were 20 minutes behind me, but they got here. It was an extremely sunny day in February. R had gotten up early to get some fresh croissants and had filled a pitcher with grapefruit juice and he was making cappuccinos. He’d put beautiful yellow tulips into the vase I bought at a pottery stall when we went to visit Gillian at her booth at a nearby market. I love how he always takes care to make things beautiful.

My hands were clammy and cold and I held R’s hand behind his back where our parents couldn’t see my death grip. The officiant was a humanist, and he did a little bit about the universality of love. Later R told me that he wondered if it was going to veer into religious territory and he was wondering if he was going to have to stop the officiant mid-ceremony. R was wearing a soft blue shirt, and his eyes were so blue in the morning light that I couldn’t really look into them as we said our vows. I think our mothers signed as witnesses. R’s mom was asking about bubbly, so I opened a bottle of prosecco, even though I wondered if my dad could handle it [narrator: he could not]. We swore our parents to secrecy because we are going to have a wedding with all our friends and family in August. Then the five of us went for lunch at an Italian restaurant [R and his mom stopped for gas on the way] and then I went and got my hair cut because I had already scheduled it. It was a perfect day.

9:37 a.m. - 2023-04-07