to add to my last entry: somehow it's worse, to suffer through these cramps at this level of pain from the age of 12 (THIRTY YEARS), but never use my reproductive system. bah. I manage that grief now, I don't dwell on it, I accept it like we accept all the things - what choice is there. But it's hard enough without adding this insult to injury.

to add to my last entry: caterpillars for lunch. oof.

2:50 p.m. - 2022-12-15