BT called to tell me about whatever new AI thing people are so excited about. I could only think how surreal it is to have computers that can summarize Das Capital or summarize Christopher Alexander or write a haiku on dystopian stock markets [note:these are things that BT asked the AI to do], but also in this same world millions of people live in houses with dirt floors with no running water or sanitation and subsist on whatever they can grow.

I haven't been writing much and i think it's because i'm so heartbroken about the state of everything. It's so hopeless. I spend so much energy pushing that feeling to the side so that I can be a functional daughter/girlfriend/employee/sister/aunt/friend. I can't write when i am trying not to feel depressed about the climate/world/political discourse. I just returned from several days amidst the ruins of towns flattened by multiple cyclones earlier this year on the coast of eastern Madagascar. Over the years in this work i have developed a bit of a tough shell but lately I can't get past the fucking unfairness of it all. I don't want to poverty porn, but things are very bad in a lot of places. The scale of it is really overwhelming and I could just weep except how dare i.

*

Reading: NK Jemisin, inheritance trilogy. More fantasy than sci-fi but i love the way she builds worlds
Listening to: Under the Pink
Today I googled: "casual weddings for over 100 people"

8:37 p.m. - 2022-12-07