my dad is supposed to drink water, but forgets.. aging blunts the thirst sense, and also i think all the scotch just kind of blunts everything. I try to make sure he gets water all day - pour out 8 glasses in the morning and take time in the day to go downstairs where he's parked in front of the tv, to hand him a glass. Today I watched him take the glass I'd just given him and walk to a place where he thought i couldn't see him, and pour it into a potted plant.

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i get to R's and where i normally want connection and affection, right now I just want space but I'm leaving for 3 weeks and I don't know how to tell him that the thing i need most in the world is a week alone, so i mentally watch from a distance as we make out. I haven't done that in a long time.

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my hands smell like the tomatoes and basil i just picked from the garden. I'm going to make sauce this evening and can it.

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my friend just texted to see if i want to meet her in Puerto Rico for a week in October and there's nothing I want more. But i told her I will still be away... even though honestly I'll get back right at the beginning of that week and could probably swing it. Just not sure that jumping on a plane to PR after 3 weeks away in Central Africa is going to feel like the right move. What is the right move tho?

6:07 p.m. - 2022-09-16