in DC again, came for the week. Lots of work. I don't mind but it's probably the amphetemines. No, it's that I have friends here. I see them. I find ways to live life even though i work a lot. Also, seriously, these adhd drugs have changed my life. That's a whole other entry.

I'm listening to the Johnny Cash covers album from 2002. It feels like an old friend stopping by.

Speaking of old friends.. talked to BT for a while this afternoon. Still so mad at him but also i don't know, it's just a thing that happened. I also still really love him and he remains one of my favourite people to talk to so we have this unlikely friendship. He told me he feels old and alone. He wants to find someone to have a kid with. I told him how i hung out with friends and their two little kids last night and my other friend who is trying to figure out how to have a kid and i cried on the way home. Still. I'm not making it happen, so I think it's just grief but there's also acceptance.

I've missed R quite a bit while I've been here. I'm more balanced so I don't expect him to entertain me. He can just be himself, and I can appreciate his lovely nature. also I have so much more space and time to myself and I can actually look forward to seeing another person.

Apparently there's a job posting in E. Africa and I should apply for it. Going to really think about it. I know i need to move. I don't want to but it's time.

5:53 p.m. - 2022-04-28