Will I ever get used to people talking randomly into empty air, oh actually it’s a Bluetooth earbud? I don’t like how it makes us ignore each other. Sometimes i understand why my dad has chosen “general bewilderment” as his passive resistance to technology. He’s the kind of guy who has assessed his probable life span (he is 80) and decided he’d rather pretend technology isn’t happening. I’m not sure I’m into it either, google maps aside.

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I digress, I really came here to say something about my realization that much of my unhappiness stems from a longing for my life to follow some straightforward narrative arc. How little I am prepared for the sheer messiness and loopiness and nuance of it all. I grew up on fairytales, they lived happily ever after, the end. I am not equipped for this chaos, I literally do not know how to comprehend it, and yet I can’t stop trying.

9:42 a.m. - 2019-05-30