In transit, Addis Ababa.

On my way home! I only moved there at the end of January and I don't yet really visualize it as home. But something is growing there... I have a sort of vague sense of calm associated with that space, and I could put an exclamation mark there because that's how i feel. Such a simple thing I never ever want to take for granted: to have a home, to be at home. It is everything.

I am so excited about walking into spring, because when I left it was still fully winter and all the trees are bare. C'mon DC, do not disappoint me! I also can't wait to eat all the salads (I don't eat much uncooked food when I travel because I hate getting sick) and I can't wait to get on my bike (but first i need to fix all the flats).

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Listening to: Robyn, Neko Case, the new LCD Soundsystem.

Reading: Caitlin Moran's "How to Be a Woman" and Gary Shteyngart's "Little Failure". Feels like a good time to read memoirs. I'm also listening to a CBC podcast called "Alone: A Love Story", which is, again, probably too on the nose... it's a kind of podcast memoir of a woman whose marriage ended at 39. But she's so self-aware and honest about the place she's in and I admire her clarity. I have thought about trying to distill some of this year into a narrative of some kind. I think it would be good for me.

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This man behind me on the plane was such a dick. He full on shouted at the flight attendant because his salad wasn't fresh. Of course the Ethiopian Airlines flight attendant didn't tell him shove it like maybe an American flight attendant might. She just stood there and took it and soothed him and apologized. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what to do. I'm not one of those enlightened people who stays calm and de-escalates situations. I just wanted to stand up and shout at him to stop shouting. I was surprised at how very upset and helpless I felt about it all. The best I could do was glare at him many times. Not enough.

[yes there was kind of a lot of shouting at my house growing up and yes i clearly have all the unresolved issues around listening to the shouting]

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Clearing out my gmail account, I found this photo of myself in 2013 and I was so radiant and beautiful that i was honestly shocked. I forgot I ever looked like that. So happy.

7:35 p.m. - 2019-03-26