snapshot: Late at night, after the hours of meetings, I find myself still wide awake fighting anxiety. The internet is too poor for me to stream the meditation I rely on to push through these nights. I sleep poorly and my alarm wakes me far too early and i'm gritty-eyed, reluctant, exhausted, heart-broken. But then i hear a scrambling on the roof and remember i'm in a cabin and those are monkeys. And when I drag myself out of bed and push the curtains open I see the sun rising, pink bands across the widest sky. Then I'm in the back of an open jeep, driving through the savanna, cool wind on my face, hair wrapped tight against the dust. In all directions only sky, except to the south where Mt Kilimanjaro looms blue and snow-capped. Those lumps in the distance, when we get closer, are elephants. Giraffes, so awkward but still graceful. Grant's gazelles make me laugh out loud in delight as they sproing across the fields as though on trampolines.

I'm okay.

9:28 a.m. - 2018-03-05