tough chat w/ BT this morning who just somehow can't/won't book a flight here, even just for a week. ok. we'll see how it all shakes out. Or maybe *when* it all shakes out at this point.

So. I settled in to taking care of myself, which involved a lot of planting and transplanting - tomatoes, mint, basil, lavender, a few houseplants and succulents. And I sat down and put together some ikea stuff my friend had given me, and it wasn't as bad as I thought, so I kept going and put together a chair and a table for my deck. i think it was the first new furniture i've ever bought (mattresses excepted) and now I don't have to sit on the deck! Love it already, although slightly disturbed about the purchasing of the new furniture. Roasted vegetables, made a stirfry, have a batch of muffins in the oven. I'll take the manic activity over fetal position/netflix.

Taking my cue from anna, things I am grateful for: the first weekend that i felt honestly engaged in my own life here; my mother and sister (calls this weekend reminded me how lucky i am to have them); Getting closer to some resolution w/ the BT thing, either way i want to know where it's going even though one direction lies a great deal of pain; The moment I sat on the new chair with my bowl of stirfry, eating my dinner in the cool breeze in the dark; cbc radio, which initially fills the silence and then makes me happy to be alone because i can fully listen.

9:27 p.m. - 2017-04-30