got home late last night and I thought I'd be lonely, but the overwhelming feeling was relief. I am mostly just responsible for myself here and that is enough. So all the challenges of BT (who knows what's going on there), my dad (i need way more therapy to deal with whatever is going on there), my mother (dealing with my dad on her own and also that house, the yard, her work, the garden), my brother (missed him this weekend, we need to start talking or we will be come strangers. I don't want to talk to anyone). Etc.

last night in bed i started listing all the reasons to move home in my head and felt so guilty I really considered doing it. Then I fell asleep and dreamed I'd quit my job and was full of regret. Woke up exhuasted.

I need to figure out what to do with all this anxiety.

1:26 p.m. - 2017-02-27