ok, hello new orleans. i live here now. again. Me and all the movie stars and rock stars and their siblings and friends.

i was pretty sure I was going to vomit all over my neighbors as the plane swayed down to the tarmac amidst crazy winds. I was ready for the plane to just crash and put me out of my misery. We landed just in time. Now: Familiar southern accents and yhen my haitian cab driver and I talked french most of the way home and home is calm and clean and familiar. I have so much more space here compared to in mtl.

i'll miss BT and family proximity, but otherwise think it's going to be a lot easier to get out of bed here. I have more of a purpose - my own friends, an office, a job, and a life here, not just BT's girlfriend who's staying in his apartment "working from home"

we'll see. If i can regularly get out of bed and to work we're going to call this a success.

As I was flying I had a sudden wish that I'd partied more in Mtl, had more fun, gone dancing. I don't know where that came from, but i guess it does mean I'm feeling better.

8:53 p.m. - 2015-10-27

i'm not great about going to bars or shows by myself. I know lots of people can sit alone with a book at a bar, or watch a band, but I always make a plan with friends. Problem: here in mtl i don't have that many friends. So last night I bravely went to see Low on my own at one of my favorite bars. Low makes the kind of music that I think I wanted to make when I was 16, but I wouldn't have even known where to start (obviously, they're better). Last night for the show I loitered at home until I was pretty sure the opening band + break was over, so of course I miscalculated and missed half the set. But it was good. Definitely an older crowd than is usually there. Lots of couples with their arms wrapped around each other, at times swaying. Almost everyone i knew would have fallen asleep, and at times I was tempted. But a few songs were complete walls-of-sound awesome [aging audience wincing and longing for earplugs now that we know about ear damage], and a few others were goosebump-inducing harmony, and so I was glad I went. I think Low got me through a pretty big chunk of this dissertation. Anyway, moral of the story: the show was pretty great, and actually no one I know would have appreciated it so it was good I went alone and maybe next time I don't have to miss half of it.

10:19 a.m. - 2015-09-23