BT is trying to understand why i work so hard. I can tell he's trying to think it through. He is living surflife and marginally employed and every time he calls I am working or thinking about working. And he never gets it. I don't exactly know why but I enjoy pushing into new places and learning that I can do things I thought I couldn't. I enjoy feeling like I would do this work for free, and instead marveling I get paid. Is it worth the trade-off, that I then work all the time to keep up with it? It's a good question.

And honestly, a big part of it is that I hate hate hate cubicle life and someone watching my hours and telling me what to do. I would rather work 14 hours for myself than be in a situation where someone notices i showed up at 9:34 and takes me aside to tell me I owe the company 34 minutes and i can make it up over lunch.

11:16 p.m. - 2014-09-26