Decided i needed a quiet evening at home. Making yellow plum jam and trying to recreate a sweet/spicy onion pickle i'm addicted to in Nola.
As soon as I stopped moving, I recognized what I've been trying to push away: my heart and head are all over the place these days. I have stopped talking, stopped writing, stopped thinking about this relationship and what I need and want out of it. I have no clarity. I simply can't deal with it. I don't know what I think. I don't know what he thinks, I don't know what we think. Is there a we? Geh. When I think of it, I jumble my metaphors. I've segmented out that part of my life and put a box around it. I'm leaving it to chill. I'm waiting for truths to rise to the surface so I will know what to do. Quagmire.
9:03 p.m. - 2012-10-25
Recent entries:
sisyphus, considering life after the stone.
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