i must be low on omega-3 or protein, because i've been craving fish for a couple of days now. I don't eat much fish, and when i do, I'm usually pretty careful about what i eat and where it's from (i use this guide, which probably isn't perfect, but it is a start). But two days in a row now, I've been at school and just really really NEEDED fish, and I don't know if I just got really optimistic because of the long holiday, or what, but I broke all my culinary rules and ATE FISH AT THE HOSPITAL CAFETERIA.

Eghhhh.. traumatized. I think they grew the "salmon" in a lab somewhere. I felt like I could have been in a space colony... test tube salmon, parboiled rice and something they called "asparagus" which did not resemble any green thing that I have ever seen in a garden.

Sitting in a beige cafeteria, under fluorescent lights, eating unidentifiable food off a tray: it was one of those moments when I suddenly suspect that i am in some dystopian film where technology has overcome our inherent reason and stolen our souls. I'm not exaggerating. That so-called salmon threatened to send me into a deep depression about our disconnect with the world.

And it gets worse, because i am STILL craving fish, and I just did it again today and got sushi with what must have been farmed shrimp imported from far far far away. Not as bad as yesterday, but inedible, and I am not a picky eater at all. I usually eat simply, cheaply, and locally as much as possible. I soak and cook lentils at least 3 times a week, and I almost always pack my lunch. I can't believe I've become so disconnected from what passes for food these days.

*

Maybe it's this feeling of an impending global descent into 1984, but egh, i'm feeling all angsty and teenage-like today. I just want to slam my door, or stomp down the hall, or burst into tears, or pick a fight with my parents. Or all of the above. Too bad i'm an adult now and there are actually repercussions when you do that.

Instead I am sighing frequently and loudly. Much much less satisfying.

1:39 p.m. - 2012-01-12