i've been on diaryland a lot lately. I've been going back through old journals i used to read and wondering what happened to everyone. Those smart and/or hilarious people I used to read every day. I really wonder about so many people Is that normal? Does anyone ever wonder about me? I doubt it. It seems like it would be strange. But I wonder, Are they happy? I assume so. We're all happy, more or less, aren't we?

don't know what I've always gotten from reading diaries... maybe I just needed this glimpse into other people's processes. A reassurance that we're all struggling to figure it out, and nothing makes perfect sense. It's hard to see that, when we pass each other in the halls.

I've been writing here for more than a decade. I'm not who I was, but when I look back, I see a glimpse of what I've eventually evolved into. The 2005 entries are particularly painful. That was not a good time.

I don't know how to capture this feeling I have. It is an intense nostalgia for something that I have no words for. It is connected to the writing I do here. But I have no idea what it is.

2:20 a.m. - 2011-08-05