packing. again. i do this a lot, lately.
This time it's not much of an upheaval, I'm just heading northward to home for 5 days, and i was looking forward to it, i AM looking forward to it, but...

But it took me the last 2 weeks to get back into this rhythm of this house and city after the previous month in nairobi, and I only just caught up to myself. I managed one yoga class, biked a lot, made a few nice meals. i looked longingly at my sewing machine but didn't pull it out. Balance? not as much as I'd like, and I find myself longing for a glass or two (or three, or four...) of wine at the end of every night to give me some sense of spontaneity or connection or creativity.

This evening I went for a couple of drinks with my dearest friends in this city, and we huddled in a booth in the Louisiana-style air con, already set to stun in April, and it was fun. I am already counting down in my head... they will all be gone from here in June, but I will be here. Based here. Here as much as I am, whatever that will turn out to be. I must have been so useless as a buddy. And now when I come back, it will be to empty evenings, not to my lovely community. I feel like the last man standing, which is unfair, because I am in reality the one who always leaves everyone else holding down the fort while i roam around, 'working".

On this trip, I am abandoning a single basil seedling on the kitchen counter. He's stuck in his temporary pot, I bought him in a flurry of optimism at Saturday morning market and haven't had (read:made) the time to repot him. He's destined for an early death, if not in the next few days, then the week after that when I'm away in Atlanta, or maybe the following two weeks when I'm back in Ethiopia, or the following week when I head to the mountains. I should have known better, but I haven't quite accepted the true state of my life.

12:16 a.m. - 2011-04-20