I woke up before my alarm, and the phone was on BT's side of the bed anyway, so i just got up. Did my yoga, made breakfast, got set to charge into work... and now i look at the clock and it's only 7am. Gah! instant sleepiness... must fight it.

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I have all kinds of fantasies about just staying here in Mtl and living happily ever after with BT in this loft, surrounded by CBC radio, bagels, Ontario peaches, and lots of plants. But it's just for this too-short week. The real world is beckoning me back, and after last night's tearful discussion I think this now also includes an open relationship for us while we continue to negotiate the long distance. I felt like i was jumping off a precipice as i said, 'okay', but who am i to say no to anything when I have always done exactly what I want?

Turns out you can't float all over the world without consequence. I thought we had a pretty good chance at the happy ending, but my wrists are weak as I type this and that's never a good sign.

7:10 a.m. - 2010-08-24