i think more and more about monogamy...

is it something I should aspire to - a committed, monogamous relationship? Or would that be something borne of fear - do i want a committed relationship because deep inside i fear that allowing a partner to be intimate with multiple people might result in loss of said partner?

it seems to me that there is so much to be gained by being intimate with many people... why should we think that one person could be all things?

i'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about the whole process of knowing someone deeply and well and purposefully.

but there are other questions here... power and gender dynamics at play - who benefits from open relationships? what other issues am I not addressing? Children? that would change things.

i'm becoming more and more determined to think critically about the types of relationships I am in. I realize that I am much more open to relationships if I do not think that I'll have to commit to just one person.

I do not want to just end up living a certain way because that's what everyone does. But I'm okay if I end up with one person because I thought it through and decide it's the best way to go. So I'm thinking these days.

3:28 p.m. - 2008-03-09