there is sad, and then there is sad and sometimes I have that sad that is the dull ache in my chest and a sort of heavy queasiness in my stomach and i understand what they meant by heartbreak.

I am feeling more tired than I should be.

*

things that made me teary yesterday:
1. driving down the 401 into the sunset, a van passed me and a dog poked his head outside and was bathed in that golden spring sunset light and his ears were flying back in the breeze and he grinned at me with a happy tongue-y dogface.
2. watching all the old vets marching stiffly along in the dutch liberation parades on CBC.
3. walking slowly, slowly with my 93-year-old nana clutching her walker and determinedly shuffling along all the way down our street in the sun. In her slightly-vacant face, her smile is softer and her cheeks are rosier and there is an approachability to her that was never there before she was old. She started the same story for the third time and I didn't mind at all.

*

I teared up the most when i saw that dog. don't worry, i don't understand myself either.

12:44 p.m. - 2005-05-09