i feel like doing silly things. Just... silly. being silly. i don't think i've been silly enough lately. Mostly i'm just really tired all the time. I'm having a Sleeping Party. People will come, sleep, and leave. No funny business.

Now that Gillian finished her lightning-quick visit, I wonder how I survive without my best girlfriend living down the hall. I got to open up the rusty part of my brain that is the girltalk part. I have girltalk with other friends, but not like with her. It seems like we all used to just put so much effort into each other... into our friendships. Now I look at the clump of us and I feel we're a bit jaded. Chipped. Broken. Something. Not as pure.

*

at the bus stop last week, I listened to my walkman to pass the time and i was longing to just dance right there. not just dance a little, but full out arm flailing dancing. I don't know why public transportation always causes these urges to bubble to the surface of my mind.

But I couldn't do it, and part of it was of course because i would have been ridiculous. But also because everyone would have pretended i was not dancing . They really would have just watched me from the corners of their eyes and maintained Impassive Faces. This is the requirement of surviving bus stops - No Matter What Happens, DO NOT REACT.

*

this new layout makes me feel so happy. Hopeful and happy. That alice sure is talented. The picture is my sister and me in a little village in France reflected in a pool next to a bunch of Miro sculptures. And the colour is Spring. And so I see it and I remember how the last two years of my life have been about waking up and walking into a new Adventure

6:02 p.m. - 2005-03-10