oh, those milliseconds before an accident. You do something just a bit risky, or you lose focus for just a second... 9 times out of 10 you get away with it, but oh... the tenth.

So. I was hiking. A slippery hike (endless mud) with a lot of rockclimbing and clambering down ropes and such. And. I don't know what happened, because this rockface was difficult, but no different than the others that we'd already done. I dug my toe into a crevice, went to take my next step, and then there was a long moment... felt exactly like those times you swallow something strangely and then hold your breath while your body decides whether or not to choke... and then... i fell. Ten feet. Onto jagged rocks.

I'm really so very, very lucky. I can't even believe how lucky. I curled into a ball as i fell, and my shoulder took the first impact. Then my knees. Then my palms. I wound up with only a jammed shoulder, shredded palms and arms, and horribly battered knees. I still get shaky when i think about what could have happened. I somehow made it to the bottom of the lagoon (a real lagoon!) where i rested in a place that only be described as 'prehistoric.' My hiking partner said he expected to see pterodactyls circling at any moment, and that was exactly right. Gigantic ferns, stalactites, caves, and green, soupy, salty water that looked like it could spawn life.

Then there was a two hour climb up and out of there. Within hours, my wrists were too sore to move, and my knees were so swollen that i couldn't walk. I've been stuck in my room for two days. People brought me food. A thai man brought me tiger balm, which i've slathered all over my body so that i smell like my grandfather, who swore by the stuff. I think so, anyway... this smell reminds me so much of him. My neighbor rolled me a joint to ease the pain.

I've had to cancel my plans to go trekking in Northern Thailand... I guess I'll be here a couple more days and then i'll have to head straight to Bangkok (for the Coldplay show. ohmy), and then on to Mumbai/bombay. I guess there are worse places to be stuck. Jersey springs to mind, which is unfair, since i've never been there.

Here, I'm on a gorgeous beach. I drink pineapple shakes with tropical flowers perched on the straws. It's a bit too resort-y for me: Walled compounds topped with broken beer bottles. There's a huge generator behind my window (I chose the cheapest room), and they've got goddamn Bob Marley on loop. But... yeah, it could be worse. Everything i own was permadamp and growing mold from the rainforest, so now it will dry, and i won't have to walk around covered in spores.

Time to hobble back to my room.

9:50 p.m. - 2003-07-26