so. i had to lock this thing for a bit there...

it was the literary equivalent of walking around your house naked for the very first time.... at first not quite sure that no one can see you... and then you decide it's safe.
So you start dancing.

*

is it wrong to be so compartmentalized that the only time i feel that it's safe to be completely open and myself is in a locked journal?

*

I think caterwaul said it best:

"i'm only writing this because i'm grossed out by the way i've only written light stuff. and ...as hateful as the depressed side is. it's real.

i have pretended i wasn't self involved for awhile

hello! i was a liar�

except i was not really depressed. More... thoughtful. And needing space to sort through things. And yeah. I'm self-involved (not neurotic!) and i think i forgot that.

I�m constantly conflicted with this thing. I want to treat it like a real diary. But i can�t, because it isn�t a private journal with a lock. It�s online and anyone can read it. I found that out, and lost a friendship over it. Granted, it wasn�t a huge loss, but the lesson was learned.

So. okay. unlocked.

Um. so. hello? I'm back, yo.

Thanks for being here.

1:29 a.m. - 2003-04-05