Once upon a time, i was a figure skater. i can remember the first time i landed a flip. They're so hard. And then a salchow, and then a toe loop!

I still remember the way you feel at the beginning of practice when you make your first, confident glide across the cold quietness of the ice. The satisfaction of being able to stop on a dime. Frozen fingers. Hot chocolate afterwards.

My parents didn't have much money at that time, but they got me some special skates, which you buy at a special store where the blade and the boot come separately. They stretched them out especially so they'd fit my weird feet. I remember that Brian Orser stood next to me at the counter while my mom paid for them, and I was over the moon to be buying skates at the professional skating store frequented by real skaters... BRIAN ORSER! WORLD CHAMPION! (he good as won that gold medal in '88. In our hearts, anyway)

Even when i quit figure skating, I kept those skates, and every time I slid my foot into the boot (which fits my foot exactly), I could reminisce about how i once wore those frilly little skirts and shiny tights and warmed up to the soundtrack from Dirty Dancing.

Today I found out that those skates are gone forever. They were left with someone, and i grossly miscalculated various actions. And I feel really bad about that. And telling my mom about it really sucked.

(mom [bewildered]: "How did they end up there anyway? She got rid of them? Why didn't she just call you? Who does that? Now do you understand why we don't trust anyone?" My parents don't trust anyone. Neither does someone else i know. I think it's unhealthy. But maybe they're correct)

Also gone: my very favorite, fucking ADORABLE pink coat which was left in the same place. Apparently also not safe from sheer pettiness.

Go ahead, spin it around in your head until it feels right. You can rationalize anything any way you want, but i'll never understand. Deliberately mean acts hidden under a guise of self-righteousness.

You may have the right to do something, but that doesn't make it right

12:54 a.m. - 2003-02-04