for the past few years, I've alternated between here and away every four or eight months. Upon my return, I'd ALWAYS become thoroughly jaded with all things social because I'd run into billions of friends and acquaintances and we'd exchange small talk to the nth degree.

When you haven't seen someone in 4 months, and you run into him in your ten minute dash between classes, and he asks you how you've been, what is there to say? I say, "Fine. I've been great. How about you?"

And he says "fine. just great"

Life may not be great. In fact, it may suck, but there just isn't time to get into it, and we all know how the game works.

I don't know what I'd do if someone actually took me seriously and suddenly started crying and relating stories of heartbreak.

This year is a bit different. I run into members of my graduating class and we ask each other, with near-palpable desperation, "hey! how are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEXT YEAR?"

A few of the [annoying] ones have jobs. Or money saved to travel. But I never tire of asking the question, because I'm learning that almost everyone is in the same boat. We have No Idea. Five years of school and we're as clueless as when we started [this is when all the people who chose not to go to school should start feeling smug. you know what you're doing. you've been doing it for five years]

Oh sure, I have options... but which is the Right One For Me?

Barring nuclear war, teaching english in South Korea is looking pretty good. So are a million different things. I can already see that I'm going to make endless Pro/Con lists, consult many people, think rationally... None of it will matter, as i will doubtless end up flipping a coin to see what I do.

4:04 p.m. - 2003-01-16