over the last five years, i have spent an inordinate amount of time at a certain campus pub. Inordinate, i tell you.

The first wednesday night of the term is always a huge one, because it's a chance for everyone to meet and catch up on the happenings of the previous four months. This leads to horrible line-ups. I thought i'd cleverly circumvent the line by showing up at 7pm for a bar night that usually gets busy by 10 or 11.

Clearly, i wasn't the only one with that brilliant idea; we arrived at 7 to find a billion metre line-up full of people who'd been there since 6.

I jumped into the line near the front with barely a twinge of conscience; tonight was, after all, my very last first bomber wednesday.

*sniff*

oh, but it was all so unfamiliar laid over the familiar. I've been gone for eight months, and i'm... well... i guess that i'm old.

I don't feel old. I'm not old. But i felt like a bloody cougar. Checking out boys and realizing that i was their frosh leader or don THREE years ago.

I used to know so many people there... not my best friends, but people i enjoyed seeing every few weeks for Good Times. And you know what? Almost all of them are gone. They've all graduated and moved on.

It made me realize two things. First, how much I really am ready to move on from this university experience. And secondly... I'm so glad that I appreciated it all the way through. I used to sit there and just marvel at the sheer wit and goodness of some of my friends. I milked my time here. I'm not sure that i studied the right things, and I KNOW i didn't reach potential. But I met so many people, and i learned so much from them, and had good times doing it. And now i recognize that phase is finished. I'm okay with that.

Ready for new things. No idea what. I mean that... really. no. idea.

*

also. I have a running list and it isn't short, but you aren't on it. It seems that there will never be a match between the list and the people who are interested in being on the list. Know what i'm saying? I'm not sure I do.

12:46 a.m. - 2003-01-09