oh. the first of the goodbyes.

move to a new place, build a community, move on. i've done this for five years, and i think this is going to be the hardest.

i cried tonight, saying goodbye to the first of the roomies. We'll stay in touch, but we'll never be back here in this big old wooden house, hanging out in the kitchen, commiserating about boys, laughing at the kitten, playing Trouble, and eating homemade biscuits and corn chowder.

These are my memories of Carmen.

I'm so thrilled at the idea of going home. I can't wait to hug my parents - my dad has the warmest hug, and my mum has the softest cheeks to kiss. And I can talk about nothing with my brother, and marvel at his coolness. And latenight bathroom talks with my favorite person in the entire world - the little sister.

And there will be so much Toronto-ing. Visits to Gerrard St. for Indian food, Kensington for shopping, Danforth for Greek, Queen or College for music. woo!

And there will be Christmas tree excursions and family and friends and my birthday... and there WILL be tobogganing.

But, oh, how much am i going to miss my little room by the kitchen, the windiest winds i've ever known, the everyday glimpses of ocean, the everchanging weather, the friendliest people in the world, and being able to cross any street at any time just by stepping off the sidewalk.

i love the way the drivers just stop because they know that it doesn't *really* matter if they get somewhere five seconds later.

i love it here, but i love it there, too. I wish i could just package all my favorite people up into a box and take them with me everywhere i go. And every time I found someone new that I loved, I could just add them to the box and take them on the next Adventure.

5:19 a.m. - 2002-12-11